Thy Husband, The Lord of Hosts is His Name

A long time ago I started a post which I jokingly called “Jesus Is My Boyfriend”, But I never finished it because I could never really say everything I wanted to in the way that I wanted to say it. In a nutshell, I may want a boyfriend, but I can’t have one. So Jesus can fill that void until I have the type relationship that I should have.

Well my friend Marianne wrote me recently and just said “Hey I wrote this in my journal and thought of you.” It was my boyfriend post, but said better. So I asked her if I could use it and she said yes. So here it is. I hope you all enjoy it. I sure did!

-M&G

Last night as I was driving home from the grocery store, I wasn’t thinking about feeling lonesome, but there is in my heart an ever-present lonesomeness–wanting to have a husband and a family and feel loved.  Anyway, I was listening to 3 Nephi (I often listen to The Book of Mormon while driving in my car), and the word “husband” leapt out at me, and I perked up my ears and these words from Chapter 22 (Compare Isaiah 54) suddenly went directly into my heart, “like it was written just for me.”  You know that feeling?

5 For thy maker, thy husband, the Lord of Hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel—the God of the whole earth shall he be called.

 6 For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.

 7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee.

 8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.

 10 For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.

 11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted! Behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.

 12 And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.

 13 And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

Let me just say that I know the marriage metaphor is used often in scripture and is not literal, but what is literal is the Lord’s unfailing love.  That he does cherish me, the way I want to be cherished.  That he can fill the void in my  heart with his love and kindness. And someday, if I continue faithful to Him, I will have children–an everlasting posterity–and they shall all be taught of the Lord.

I also loved the words “a wife of youth.”  I feel sad sometimes about finding myself getting older without being married (or even dating much) yet, because I suppose what I crave is not just being in love, but being young and in love.  Being a wife of youth.  And the Lord will love me with all that devotion, and even enthusiasm. Not only that, but he claims me as “a wife of youth when thou was refused.”  Even when I feel like “a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,“ even though nobody else in the whole world may want me, He does.

And a little oddly, perhaps, the words that made me burst into tears were “I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires. And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.”  That promise of overwhelming beauty filled me with hope, and a sweet reassurance that all will be well.

I pressed the rewind button (or whatever it’s called on a CD player) about five or six times, listening to the passage over and over again.  I’m not living a small or an empty life.  The Lord is filling my every need, and if it seems that “for a small moment” he has forsaken me, I just need to hang on, and with great mercies he will gather me.  Gather me to his arms and hold me and cherish me and fill me with peace.

Just wanted to write that down. I hope it makes sense.  I guess what I’m getting at is the realization that the Lord’s love can fill every void in my life, even my longing for the romantic, emotional, intellectual fulfillment I hope for in a husband:

“For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.”

-Marianne

Beliefs

3 Nephi, boyfriend, gay, husband, Jesus Christ, marriage, mormon, patience, The Book of Mormon

April 15, 2013

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A Family of My Own

This past weekend I found myself uplifted and edified by the words spoken by our church leaders during the 183rd General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints. I approached the conference with specific questions and found them answered. The peace that comes from knowing that God is not silent is truly incredible.

I was struck by the words of Elder Bednar specifically.  In his address entitled We Believe in Being Chaste he said:

“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a single, undeviating standard of sexual morality: intimate relations are proper only between a man and a woman in the marriage relationship prescribed in God’s plan. Such relations are not merely a curiosity to be explored, an appetite to be satisfied, or a type of recreation or entertainment to be pursued selfishly. They are not a conquest to be achieved or simply an act to be performed. Rather, they are in mortality one of the ultimate expressions of our divine nature and potential and a way of strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife. We are agents blessed with moral agency and are defined by our divine heritage as children of God—and not by sexual behaviors, contemporary attitudes, or secular philosophies.”

As I mentioned in my previous post, I sometimes find it hard to not get discouraged or worry that I am being foolish. So many people tell me that I am simply “denying who I am.” Thankfully, at this conference I was reminded that who I am is a son of God and a disciple of Jesus Christ. As Elder Bednar said, I am defined by my heritage as a child of God and NOT by sexual behaviors, contemporary attitudes, or secular philosophies. People may try to sway me or say that I am being too dogged in my pursuit of the will of my Heavenly Father, but what is being taught is clear; chastity is important. To have a relationship with a man, no matter how committed we may be to each other, would be immoral. The presence of love would not change the incorrectness of that lifestyle.

Many (and boy do I mean many) of my friends have had children recently. For three of these couples, this is their first child. Seeing their families growing has been so touching. One friend of mine, Chris, wrote about his feelings on  being a new father. He said that “she has taught, motivated, and lifted me. I see in her a divine means of help and strength for myself. I find myself wanting to be more noble, more kind, more precise….She has calmed my countenance and brought light to the beclouded parts of my soul.”

To read these words from a new father touched me deeply. As I read I began to see and understand one of the many reasons that the family is so important. We need families to motivate us to do better. I love my friend Chris and have always admired his devotion to the gospel and his desire to be righteous. To hear him say that this makes him want to be even better is inspiring. Anything that can drive such a good man to seek even deeper and firmer righteousness must be of God.

More and more I realize that this is the kind of life that my Father in Heaven wants me to live. For now that is not possible. But one day, whether later in this life or in the eternities, I will have a wife and a family. And they will enrich me and enlighten me and I will strive to do the same for them. I cannot say enough how grateful I am for modern prophets and apostles who help me know the will of my Father in Heaven and give me guidance as to how I can change through the atonement of Jesus Christ, my Savior.

I may walk a long, lonely road in this life. I have accepted that probability. But if I am allowed to experience the sweet joy of having a family of my own and live with them for eternity, it will be well worth it.

Beliefs

183rd General Conference, atonement, chastity, Elder Bednar, family, gay, general conference, Jesus Christ, lds, mormon

April 8, 2013

19 Comments

Why I Do What I Do

Twice a year I have the privilege of being uplifted and guided by the words of a Prophet of God, as well as His divinely appointed Apostles. We have just finished with the first session of the April 2013 General Conference and I have been uplifted and edified. It is a wonderful experience that fills me with the spirit of God and comforts my mind when troubled.  I have often been asked how I have the strength to withstand the temptations and desires I feel to seek out a male companion and live a gay lifestyle. To be honest, a lot of my conviction comes from the things I hear and feel during General Conference.

I believe firmly that this is the way that my Heavenly Father wants me to live. As I go through my life, I seek comfort and guidance through prayer with my Heavenly Father and through studying His scriptures. But every now and then, I become discouraged. It is a hard life to live. Many people that I know think that my decisions are foolish and misguided. They pressure me to give up what I believe in and just “be happy.”

It is times like this that I am grateful for the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Twice a year, without fail, I find my choices validated and confirmed. My confidence and convictions are strengthened because I know that those who are speaking are the messengers of the Lord Jesus Christ and His Father, the God of all creation. I stand by my choice to live a chaste life because they confirm that my desires are righteous and that my actions are worthy of receiving all that the Lord has to offer.

For those of you who seek for guidance or lack the strength and conviction to live what you believe, I invite you to come and listen to a Prophet’s voice. The words that he and the Apostles speak give me the strength I need to carry on. They will speak just to you. Come with a humble heart, and the Spirit of God will whisper guidance to your mind and peace to your soul.

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/invite-others?lang=eng

Beliefs

gay, mormon, Jesus Christ, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Prophet, lds, general conference, lds conference, Apostles, Holy Ghost, peace, guidance

April 6, 2013

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Why I Do Not Support Gay Marriage

I normally do not like to talk about things that are so politically charged, but I feel that I cannot keep my thoughts to myself anymore. I have continually been asked by those that know me what I think about gay marriage, and with the issue being considered by the Supreme Court of the United States, I think that it is time that I break my silence.

Before I begin, I want to first say this to my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters and those who support them; it is your right to speak out and do what you can to find the happiness that the Declaration of Independence rightly declares as unalienable. Go for it! Fight and fight hard! You want the right to marry, as is to be expected, for myriad reasons. But on the flip side, there are others who might not, and for just as many reasons. My hope is that if there is legislation passed, it will be something that can appease and placate those on both sides of this sadly growing rift. I do not profess to know the answer to this issue, but I do believe that there is the possibility of legislation that those in support of gay marriage and those against gay marriage can find equally acceptable. Both sides must be willing to compromise. But one side’s happiness and comfort need not exclude the other’s.

The rest of my remarks will largely be directed toward the members of my faith. However, if you do not share my faith, I would encourage you to continue reading. Understanding and communication is vital and I hope that these words will help my point of view to be understood.

In 1995, the Church released The Family:A Proclamation to the World. In it we learn that the Family is an eternal entity. It is central to God’s plan. He wants us to have families and to raise children and teach them well and provide them with the things they need to live a happy and fulfilling life. We also learn, as part of receiving that happiness and fulfillment, that “children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”

“We the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” If you believe that this Church teaches the Gospel of Jesus Christ, then you most likely believe that it is led by a modern day Prophet and Apostles who have been set apart as especial witnesses of Christ. A Prophet is the mouthpiece of our Heavenly Father on the earth today and speak His will for us. If you believe these things, then it would stand to reason that you would believe the quotes above about the sanctity of marriage to be true.

To my distress I have seen many close friends who are members of the LDS faith openly reject these teachings and very strongly support gay marriage. And I understand why! They see gay and lesbian friends being denied something that is very important to them. I understand, perhaps better than many in the LDS faith, the pain of not being to enjoy a “complete relationship” with someone to whom you are attracted, and with whom you find romantic fulfillment. It is sad to see. I understand that pain and feel it daily. But while it is sad, it is not an excuse to throw away our convictions and turn our back on our faith.

I want to illustrate this with a conversation I recently had with my friend Cody. He called me and simply said, “How does all this stuff in the news about gay marriage make you feel?” To be quite honest, he was probably the first person to ask me how it affected me and not just what I thought about it. And while talking to him, I found the words to explain things that had to this point been unclear and hard to say clearly.

To see friends of mine, especially those of my faith, actively and vigorously fighting for gay marriage hurts me. I have decided to live according to the principles taught in the LDS faith, meaning I choose to deny me feelings of attraction to other men, and I will most likely live a life devoid of any romantic attachment (to read more of why I choose to live this way, read my about page). And as part of that, I do my best to stay away from things that spark my feelings of desire for other men. To live in a world where gay marriage is common place and completely accepted would drive me crazy. It would torment me make my decision to live what I believe that much harder. To see friends promote such a world leaves me feeling betrayed.

Now, you might say that we as human beings are betraying our fellow brothers and sisters because we are denying them this happiness. But it is all too easy to forget that this life is not the end of things. That there is even greater happiness awaiting us in the next stage of our lives. Our post-mortal existence where we will live for eternity with our loving Heavenly Father and His Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I told my friend Cody that I can’t help but think of Jennifer, a woman whom I have spoken of on this blog before, and her son. He is struggling to understand his same sex attraction and where he fits in his family, his church, and in this life.  And he is not alone. There are so many young men like him who are lost and confused. To think of them quietly searching for answers brings tears to my eyes. But to then think of them seeking for those answers and seeing around them a society that promotes a relationship that would condemn them, and to also see members of their own faith encouraging such actions…it breaks my heart. Their confusion would be magnified tenfold. It would make it nearly impossible for them to find solace and courage to live a lifestyle in harmony with this gospel.

To prevent gay marriage would be harsh. It would deny millions a large level of happiness in this life. But to promote and allow it could possible deny countless souls a longer lasting happiness. It would foster an environment that would make failure for members of the church who struggle with homosexual feelings almost certain. And with that failure comes an unhappiness that is much longer lasting than the unhappiness of this life.

I can rest easy knowing that while I may not support gay marriage, which will cause hardship here and now, eventually those brothers and sisters will have happiness made available to them in the next life. They have not made the covenants we have made, and therefore I believe that they will have a chance, like countless others, to make such covenants when they are dead. Therefore, as a member of the LDS church, it seems a disingenuous to push for a relationship that you believe will ultimately condemn someone.

By the turn of the same coin however, I do not think that it is ok for members of the church to attack gay relationships. These people are living the best they know how. We must acknowledge that they do not follow the same belief system as ours and that their actions are theirs to choose. Agency is given to all.

To my dear brothers and sisters, friends in the gospel, I urge you to think of your motivations. While your actions may be well intended, I beg of you to be wary of justification. Thoughts of goodwill to gay men and women are wholesome, but we cannot allow our pain for their situation to be the justification for denying the Savior and His gospel.

My thoughts are strong, and I think that therefore my words may seem harsh. I do not mean them to be. I simply wish to remind us all of what it is that we profess to believe. The world will never understand why we do what we do, and they will not accept our denial of gay marriage. We will be reviled. We will be rejected. We will be persecuted. But as a reminder, so was our Savior, Jesus Christ. He was spat upon, mocked, and ultimately crucified to make our happiness possible. He has promised us that if we hold to what we believe and seek to live the gospel completely, that all will be well and we will once again live in glory with the Father.

I pray that we can all remember our testimonies and find the courage to stand up for what we believe, no matter what.

-M&G

Beliefs

A Proclamation to the World, eternal life, gay, gay marriage, Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, lds, mormon, Prop 8, same sex attraction, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, The Family

March 26, 2013

24 Comments

In Response to Matthew Chiglinsky Re: Valentine’s Day

A Month ago I wrote a Valentine’s Day post and I got a very interesting response from someone named Matthew Chiglinsky. I have wanted to write a response for a while now, and I am just getting around to it, but I knew my response would be too long for just the comment section, so I decided to do a whole post about it. Sorry for the delay if you are reading this Matthew!! His response to my post is below and then I’ll give my thoughts. I suggest you read the Valentine’s Day post to get the whole gist of things. I have added numbers to Matthew’s thoughts for ease of discussing the points he makes.

“#1) Choose to be happy? As a general plan, that at first sounds like a form of denial.

#2) But what’s so depressing about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend anyway? Being heterosexual doesn’t necessarily solve that problem so easily. Some of us heterosexuals are a little socially awkward, and so it’s not like we can just walk out into a public place, point at a female, and have her follow us home. There are lots of heterosexuals who’ve been alone on every single Valentine’s Day since birth.

#3) It’s not like it really matters that much. Our society places too high a value on sex and sexual relationships, as if people somehow need sex to survive. Friends and acquaintances, yes, they are probably important to emotional health, but boyfriends and girlfriends are overrated. The purpose of sexual attraction is reproduction. If someone isn’t going to reproduce, then there’s no real point in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship anyway.

#4) So, what’s wrong with having a guy who is just a close friend? Homosexuality without the sex isn’t really homosexuality. It’s just friendship. Heterosexuality without the potential to reproduce isn’t really heterosexuality either, but most people are too vain to realize this. Most people use girlfriend/boyfriend relationships as a from of entertainment, without understanding the real purpose.

#5) Were you depressed by your own feelings or by your jealousy of other people’s foolish vanity?”

-Matthew Chiglinsky

Well Matthew, first off, I am not sure of you are LDS (Mormon) or not, so I will answer as if you aren’t just to make sure you understand where I come from. If you are LDS, forgive the excessive explanations.

#1) I guess choosing to be happy is a form of denial. But I would like to suggest that denial isn’t always bad. I think that there are some things that are necessary for us to deny. Take excessive sleep, for instance. It isn’t healthy, and plus, if I slept as much as I wanted to, I would flunk out of school or lose my job. Now, I think that you meant that me choosing to be happy is denial in that I am ignoring my sadness and trying to trick myself into being happy when I really am not. But honestly, like allowing myself to sleep too much, I could let myself continue to be sad. If I wanted to, I could let myself sink into a deeper depression. It is dark and gloomy and it feels good to feed those feelings when you are in that place. But it only gets worse if you do.

Ask anyone who struggles with depression. There are some days when you know that you are just unhappy and you can’t help it. But there are other days when you know that you are just feeding it and and that you could let yourself enjoy at lease some happiness. There is still a choice involved. I choose to be happy rather than allow myself to wallow in sadness and depression. Sure, some days I am just really bummed and no amount of positive thinking helps. I just try to remain patient and pray for help until I am able to say, you know what? I got this. I’m feeling better. I deny myself the opportunity to feed the monster. I find my motivation to do so from scriptures like this:

32 Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. Moroni 10:32

2) You are partially right about this one. No, being heterosexual wouldn’t solve all of my problems. I would still be single and I might have some trouble finding a girl to date. But at lease I would be free to pursue those I feel attracted to if I wanted to. Because I feel that living a gay lifestyle is not in keeping with God’s wishes, I am not able to pursue those to whom I am attracted. Heterosexual people who are single at least have the opportunity to seek out a companion to whom they are attracted. Maybe they will need to be patient and wait to have a significant other, but the option is still there. For me, I have to live without a relationship to a man. It isn’t an option. Having that option gives a lot of hope, and sometimes I think some heterosexual people take that hope for granted.

#3) I feel like you mistakenly confuse the desire for a relationship with a desire for sex. Yes they are often present together, but they are two different things. People find romantic fulfillment through many ways, because romance is not just sexual intimacy. There are other forms of attraction. Some that I identify are physical (or sexual as you refer to) intellectual, spiritual. Couples enjoy each others company. They find their partners intellectually stimulating and attractive. You can be attracted to someone’s spirituality and find their faith inspiring and desirable. Relationships are more than just sex. Having someone to share moments with and spend life with would be a wonderful thing. And I would really love to have a significant other to share that with. Which brings me to number 4.

#4) There is nothing wrong with me having friends who are male. I have several. And I am very close to them! But it is different from having a romantic relationship with a man. In #1 you said that even heterosexuals have issues finding a significant other. Would you also tell them to just find friends of the opposite gender? If you are single, does it fulfill you? It might. But I think the vast majority will agree that having a friend is very different from having boyfriend/girlfriend. That romantic connection, not just sex, is important to most people. And it is something that I wish I had.

Would it be ok for me to let myself develop a romantic relationship with a man, but just not include sex?  You said “Homosexuality without the sex isn’t really homosexuality.” Well, I kind of disagree. Letting myself fall in love with a man, even if I’m not having sex, is fulfilling my desires to have a romantic relationship with a man. And I don’t believe that my Heavenly Father is ok with that. I say this on my about page about what I believe:

“My body tells me that I am attracted to men. My spirit is not [attracted to men]. After this life, when I no longer have this imperfect body, I will not have these feelings of attraction to men. Because God loves me, he has given me laws that can help keep me safe and clean while on this earth. One of those laws is that a man should not lie with a man.  Now how could such a law make me happy when I am attracted to men? Well, if i cultivate and allow feelings for a man while in this life, what will become of that relationship in the next life when I no longer have those feelings of physical attraction?[They would only serve to damn  me(meaning to stop progression)].  A homosexual relationship has no place in God’s kingdom.  So having one now would only make  me unhappy in the end.”

Isn’t that harsh though? Isn’t that really difficult? Well, yes. But I believe that it is what God has asked of me and I am willing to do it in order to qualify for the blessings of Eternal Life. As said above, I must deny that part of myself. It may be hard, but it is most certainly worth it.

5) So to round off, I am not depressed by others’ “foolish vanity”, as you call it. I simply have what I think is a natural desire for a romantic companionship. And for whatever reason, I feel attracted (physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually) to men. God say’s I can’t live that life. So I don’t. That leaves me feeling a little sad sometimes. But only sometimes.

The point I was trying to make in my Valentine’s post was that people let February 14th depress them, and they don’t have to. Sure it might be hard, but if you focus on the positive things, being single isn’t all that bad. Does that answer your questions? I would love to hear your thoughts. And to everyone else, feel free to comment!

-M&G

//

Beliefs

gay, mormon, lds, Valentine's Day, Matthew Chiglinsky, Moroni 10:32, gay lifestyle, relationships, attraction, happiness, denial

March 24, 2013

5 Comments

Marriage = Biology (Not Bigotry)

I found this video about governments and gay marriage and I find it very interesting. Some things I like about it and some things I don’t. But I want to hear your thoughts. Discuss!!

Beliefs

mormon, gay marriage, homosexuality, lds, government, marriage, gay families, same sex couples

March 6, 2013

4 Comments

To This Day: A message about Bullying and Depression

Words. We use them daily. We think them, write them, say them, send them. Sometimes we do it with purpose and sometimes completely without thought. And despite what many a good intentioned parent/teacher/friend might say, words can hurt.

I consider myself to be a pretty well liked person. I have been told that I have never met a stranger in my life and that I have more love for people than a golden retriever. I agree! I do whatever I can to show love and kindness to everyone I meet and I feel like I have developed a personality that is easily approachable and has won me many friends. But I didn’t always used to be this way.

Growing up I was actually almost a “quiet kid” (very much NOT who I am today). I knew I wanted to be around people and I wanted to have friends, but I just couldn’t connect. I was a bit chubby, I didn’t have the nicest clothes (I remember rather vividly a pair of bright yellow sweat pants that my mother bought me for school. The 90′s were kind to no one) and my hair was always goofy and too big. As kids do, they poked fun here and there. I hated it. But I put up with it because, hey, they were acknowledging me.

There are some things that were said to me that I still have not forgotten. The biggest thing that still haunts me is being told I was annoying. I hate even admitting it. I hate that word and what it means and I want to do anything I can to not be associated with it. I didn’t mean to be annoying, but I just was I guess. In my attempt to try and win friends and get people to like me I invariably bugged the snot out of everyone.

Years later I am an outgoing confident socialite. By day at least. By night I am a mess of self-doubt and depression who is terrified that I said and did all of the wrong things and was just annoying.

For years I have struggled with depression; hating my life and yet still clinging desperately to it. The careless and even sometimes targeted words of those I admired or sought friendship and acceptance from have damaged me in a way that I can hardly believe. So many people say they love or admire me, but yet sometimes I still struggle to believe it enough to get out of bed in the morning. Such a simple thing! A word! A sound! Something that to billions of people in the world would just be garbled nonsense has effectively crippled me.

And to add to the insecurity and fear of not being accepted was my attraction to men. No one knew that I had these feelings. Any time someone even jokingly called me gay, I wanted to die. How could I be accepted now? I was a little awkward annoying boy who liked guys. Who could be friends with that? Night after night, even well into high school, I would cry myself to sleep wishing that I could be anyone else. Because me was just not good enough.

Years later I have learned to pick myself up. I have learned so much about the worth of a soul and the beauty of life. In fact, I think I have in large part my same gender attraction to thank for that. Through it I have learned that no matter who you are or what you feel, you are a person. You have feelings and thoughts and desires that are real and very much important. I have also learned that more often than not, everyone is just as insecure (if not more so) than you are.

So here I am. Not perfect, but on the mend. I have learned so much about how to love myself, and it has mostly been through loving other people. When I needed compassion and understanding I didn’t always get it. So my goal is to give it to others. May I suggest something:

Think carefully about what you say. You never know who it may hurt. No offense may be meant, but we must be careful of those who are already damaged and see rejection where they needn’t.

Never laugh at someone. I’m not talking about laughing at silly misunderstandings with friends. I mean the vindictive pride that makes us see humor in another’s innocent and unintended mistakes. Or the bravado that makes us point and snigger at the fashion faux pas of someone we find distasteful. To be laughed at for a misunderstanding or a physical blunder is more hurtful than you might think. It is the height of rejection and the derisive feelings that come from it can tear the recipient apart for years.

We have to learn to validate others, even those we don’t necessarily like. To blatantly ignore another human being is beyond unacceptable. We are all human. We are all seeking love. To completely reject giving any such love to another brother or sister on this earth is unconscionable.

The world is filled with those who are drowning in a sea of loneliness. It is a sea of endless depression that is sadly often overwhelming to even the swimmers we might think are strong. They see a light and swim toward it seeking help, and we simply push their heads under the water yet again. I fear being the person who unwittingly pushes someone under for the last time. As should you.

Friends, we do not grow or increase in stature by tearing others down. As we lift others we are also lifted and filled with light. Our loving Father in Heaven promises Angels to bear us up. Let us be those angels for one another. . Find those who suffer and mourn. Accept them. Seek out those who are different or awkward and show them you know they are there. I promise that doing so will bring greater joy and happiness than you could ever realize.

Every life has worth. Always.

Beliefs

gay, mormon, Heavenly Father, depression, gay bashing, lds, acceptance, bullying, To This Day Project, Shane Koyczan

February 22, 2013

8 Comments