One year ago today I started this blog.

It was during the Priesthood session of the October 2011 conference that I felt inspired to start the blog, so I went home and started to write.  Here I am now.  1 year later.  How have things gone?

As of right now I have 5,880 views.  Not much, but it is nice to know that there are people who read it.

On my busiest day (in Feb.) I got 417 views. No idea why.  I think someone shared it and lots of people looked.  I am really grateful to that person for sharing.  It makes a big difference

I made two email friends.  One started to write me to let me know that it is alright and that I am loved.  The other wrote me to find out how she could love better.  Both relationships are wonderful and special to me and I am grateful for them.

I have had some pretty neat experiences.  This blog has given me the chance to speak about things that I don’t normally speak about in my everyday life.  I have emailed lots of people trying to let them know they can do it and that they don’t have to live a gay lifestyle. It is ok (and possible!) to live the gospel!  I have been able to tell more friends and loved ones about my struggle through this blog.  It has helped my support network grow and made me more comfortable with who I am. It has pretty much become my own little kind of therapy.

But most importantly, it has brought me closer to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ. Writing this blog has made me ponder deeply about my thoughts and feelings.  I can look back at experiences I have had and blogged about and find strength in them.  It has affirmed my testimony of the gospel and brought joy into my life.  I now feel that I am doing something, however small, to help others feel more loved and understand that there are people who want to live as God commands and that it can be fun while you do!

I am so grateful for this gospel.  I am able to be forgiven of my sins and start anew.  Jesus Christ is the Savior of all mankind.  He died so that we, should we choose to repent and change, can live again and receive all that the Father hath (D&C 84:38). This gospel has made me happier than any other lifestyle I have lived.  I have devoted myself to the gospel of Jesus Christ, the LDS church, and it has brought me joy.  So many people (people I know, and even complete strangers) tell me that I am being untrue to myself.  They say that I am gay and that I deserve to be with a man and that I shouldn’t suppress myself.

Well I am not gay.  I am a son of God. I am a literal heir to the Kingdom of God.  I can become just as God is. I am His son.  He loves me and cares about me and knows my desires and my struggles and my good days and my bad days. He knows and loves me and I know and love Him back. No it won’t be easy.  Yes I will  have to give things up.  But that is how you become better.  If you want to change things then you have to do something different.  I choose to live something different than what the world tells me to do.  I choose the Lord.  I choose the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I choose this because it is good and true and it is all that I need.  I invite you to learn more if you don’t know much about the Mormon people.

People say that we are mysterious and secretive. Want to know what we teach in Sunday school?  Want to know what happens in the Temples?  Want to know Church policy on….anything?  Then I direct you here:

Things are clear.  We want people to know what we believe.  Why?  Because it makes us happy. It brings us joy and peace and fulfillment. We want to share that joy and peace. Read and learn for yourself.  Don’t just listen to the things that others tell you.  Do your own research. I promise, it will be worthwhile. It completes my life and gives me peace. Take the time and study it!  It will be well worth it!